Stop settling for less at work and in relationships

It is common to settle for less when in a relationship or when accepting job offers. If we fall into the trap of our letting our lives revolve around the lives of our partners, we could risk

finding ourselves becoming so dependent on the relationship that we lose our sense of self-worth. We depend on our partners' stamp of approval in almost everything we do, to feel confident in ourselves and in our abilities.

This could frustrate the relationship, and very often you notice your partner looking elsewhere for a breath of fresh air. You are stifling the relationship! Get your own life. This pattern can have damaging effects and getting out of the cycle, pretty hard.

Likewise, when seeking to advance in our careers, it is easy to settle for less when we are desperate. According to Ros Taylor in Develop Confidence: Build a Positive Approach to Life and Work, choosing the wrong company - for instance finding out only after joining the company that it has a poor employment record - has a negative impact on our happiness and effectiveness so, people should not waste time applying to unsuitable companies.

Unfortunately, with the tough economic times in the country and globally, in addition to the massive job losses, it's very easy to settle for less than you are worth. But how do you get around this?

How you feel about yourself determines how others perceive you and their behaviour towards you. Do you know that in spite of the obstacles with the economy, you can still aim for jobs that have a satisfactory salary. Desperation can make you settle for less and employers could manipulate this.

When you know your worth, you can negotiate for a better pay. Ask questions during the interview to help you know more about the job, their conditions, how far you can negotiate, and if it is the right fit for you; a place that will enable you grow and save before you leave.

Knowing your worth, your value, also applies to relationships. Set your standards and your no-go areas and people will not walk over you. Your partner will also not take you for granted when you set your limits. Only you have the power to allow or prevent others from taking you for granted. Date on your level. Stop waiting to be given. Work to make your own money and have some independence. These can add up to give you the respect you deserve.

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